I Really Like Alcohol

On Pretty Little Liars, the episode began with Toby Cavanaugh gaining a motorcycle. For cool points. Cool-enough-to-date-Emily points, at least.

Then the girls had ended up with Toby’s file in their possession and, “just shove it in your locker” sounded like it just might’ve topped the growing list of the girls’ terrible ideas!

Jenna plopping down contentedly on Emily’s bed was beyond strange. It wasn’t exactly a normal situation to begin with; Emily’s recupe time was duking it out with her mother’s bedside interrogation.

Aria, Spencer, and Hanna were sick of carrying the file around with them, so they drove out to their Rosewood secret spot, which is apparently the cheapest set. Other ABC shows had reserved the house sets and all they had left was the, “generic woods.” Aria and Hanna march out to the creek and pointlessly instruct Spencer to stay behind…to babysit the car? “Why am I waiting here?!” She exclaims after a minute.

So Aria tossed Toby’s file into the creek nice and low to the ground. Then additional papers fell from the sky.

Aria, the show’s decided main character, snuck into Mr. Fitz’s house just as a message crucial to the plotline was being left on his answering machine. What timing!

Spencer’s catch of the day, Alex, was working temporarily in the club’s kitchen – like a pro – making one meal at a time, every half hour or so. Working at all hours of the day. And he was the only one in the kitchen. So he and Spencer would have the oppurtunity to dance in private, of course.

The show ended with Toby’s death.

On Real World New Orleans,

McKenzie’s drinking was out of control, Jemmye was a predictable slag, and Ashlee proved her redeeming qualities, by tolerating and teasing her bedroommate, Knight.

When this season’s location was first announced, I figured the anticipated volunteer work, that saves face for the intoxicated party slackers for ten minutes of airtime, was a shoe-in. New Orleans. Helping those less fortunate, maybe? No. They pushed a dog float at the Barkus Parade.

During Super Bowl Weekend, when the roommates were partying in a bar, Preston got kicked out for some unknown reason and it took the others way too long to notice his absence. As he cried in the street, alone.

The Preston vs. Ryan mini-feud continued, with words thrown about carelessly and childish acts that should have ended many seasons ago. Preston told Ryan that he wasn’t okay with his sexuality. Ryan cried on the phone to a male friend, ending the call with, “I love you.” Okay.

Mimi