My 5 Favorite Things

Unfortunately, I am not like Oprah. I’m not giving away truckloads of free stuff for merely having an opinion. Sorry. But this is fun all the same.

I love when…

5. Heidi Montag brings her Heidiclones on talk-shows to show off her clothesline in Heidi-riffic fashion.

4. Another summer show like Wipeout, Celebrity Circus, or the Singing Office (or any of Joey’s other shows) premiere just to flop.

3. DeAnna says “you’re breakin’ ma heart.” This is such a regular occurance each episode that Rachael Ray is getting nervous and throwing in a few extra “yum-o”s any chance she gets. For example: “This, folks, is a handy-dandy car trashcan. Yum-o!”

2. Kathy Lee Gifford says something either a. racist b. snobby c. rude and insulting to everyone on the planet or d. all of the above; on an average day.

1. Stryker plays any Jackson 5 (Dancing Machine), Flo Rida (Low), No Doubt (Hella Good), or Madonna (4 Minutes). His limited playlists are better than the Marshmallow Game and, in turn, winning an iPod or a TiVo. Who else is glad DJ Johnny and his Sexyback are gone? I am! I am!

-Mimi

Poor Hunky Graham!

DeAnna finally sent Graham home on the Bachelorette last night, even though he was the only one she was falling in love with; the only one she thought was hot; the only one that gave her jitters and even his dull silence alone made her happy. I’m not sure why she kept Jeremy. His “perfectness” is not great. It’s very disturbing. Graham cried, DeAnna cried, he gave her a note expressing everything he couldn’t say; still feeling like he owed that much to her, and then he got in the limo and left.

We will never see him again. Until next week.

Mimi

Not Getting a Case of the Twillies

Update!

On last week’s Bachelorette, DeAnna sent both pudgy chef-boy and Fred the Lawyer packing. I think she just wants to see how many roses she can keep. Fred took the news rather well but Robert was hammered during the Limo Confessional and Final Thoughts, not to mention he cried. Way to keep a shred of integrity. DeAnna gave Graham another chance to be nice; since while he is distant and uninterested he’s the only one she’s physically attracted to so far. That meant Brian went home. I think it was since he wrote a meaningless song titled ‘House of my Pain’. *yack*

This week, the self-admitted redneck and Twilly got the boot, and Kathy-Lee felt like she just had to add on her ‘segment of show’ that he was a family friend and she changed his diaper. No, she didn’t specify it was when he was baby. Ha. Jab!

The final four are Jesse, Graham, the daddy, and Jeremy Stalkerman. Surprise, surprise. I predict Stalkerman will pop very soon and go on a nutso killing-spree but I’m not betting any money on it right now.

On last week’s episode of The Mole, Bobby admitted to being bad at running, walking, sitting up straight, strenuous breathing, spying, crawling and, obviously, eating. He had one of the girls pushing him around in a wheelbarrow and when he realized he was useless in the challenge, he waited in the wheelbarrow swinging his feet like a toddler. Needless to say, Bobby was not the Mole and was sent home this week, after being told he needed to eat. 

On the premiere of the Stupid Circus show, we got to meet three stereotypical judges, after hiding our eyes from professional camera-hog Joey Fatone; Paula/Carrie-Ann (mrrow), Len (Gaylord), and the fruity-maybe-Italian some-sort-of-European-or-is-that-a-fake-accent? role of Bruno. How…Average. Sorry, gang, but I promptly stopped watching.

Mimi

A Week of Rejections

On the Bachelorette (DeAnna Pappas-level Desperate Edition), she wasn’t feeling it with the dweeby teacher, Richard, who in fact was feeling it with her so she did the responsible thing and kicked him to the curb -literally- as soon as possible. She also sent (I think his name was) Rick home for being a creepy “man’s man.” Unfortunately, she found him later in her shower with an ax and that same disturbing psycho-clown smile…

On Hell’s Kitchen, “Matty” was finally sent home. Not for the finger incident, or sweating into the food, or being useless on every station, or making Chef Ramsay vomit on Day 1 but for completely losing his mind. Way to go, tubby.

Chris Brown was on the Today Show Friday. Well, we think so. The cameras were staring at a giant, yellow cone that didn’t do anything half the time he was dancing around to his hit “Kiss Kiss.” All the fans were silent for the sake of their videos. No one sang or whooped but Ann Curry insisted they were chanting his name. She lied.

“So what do you sing about?” Ann asked a freshly-changed Chris, “Love? Kissing?”

Yes, that sounds old but there was an even older woman in the crowd, who was thoroughly enjoying Kiss Kiss.

Mimi