The Road To Success Is Paved With Candy

To recap 2011, pop music shamelessly dominated the music scene.  Between the sudden dance party of Foster The People, the omnipresent Bruno Mars, and the ear-rape return of Maroon 5, it was inescapable. Let’s cut to the chase. There is one goddess of power pop, bringing us another round of the Teenage Dream and single-handedly boosting sales of cupcakes worldwide.

Tying Michael Jackson’s long-standing record, with five #1 singles off one album, is it any surprise that Katy Perry would win MTV Artist of the Year? She took us on a tour through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, so I don’t think so.

Likewise, it would take the one and only She-Wolf, Latina Columbian Goddess Shakira to bring us a song as infectious as Rabiosa. Whether in her gumball-filled bathtub or somewhere south of the North Pole, this mocha song made many a fan want to bite her en la boca. Also not surprisingly, this became an internet sensation with more than one hundred million views.

This year, Nicki Minaj made sure that absolutely everyone got that Supa Bass. Aspiring bubblegum pop stars should take a pointer from the diva – get a British child to sing your obscenity-laced ghetto princess code and you’ll move to the candy-striped HOV lane. And let’s up the video views to 200,000,000+.

Finally, thanks in part to the recent Jersey Shore culture, LMFAO dominated the clubs this year with jams like Party Rock Anthem. With a title like that the fro’d duo were already golden. Throw in their outfits and once again, golden. Then, a skewed sense of confidence; well, everyone has that these days! With 300,000,000+ online views, these two goons held the keys to the Gingerbread Haus, a place for garish metallics and hipsters alike. The doors are open. Embrace the pop. Every day I’m shufflin’.

Mimi

On Tina, On Amy, On Horatio, On Tracy!

Saturday Night Live‘s most cheerful success story, Jimmy Fallon, was back to host the Christmas episode this week and it was, “so good to be home.” Musical numbers a’plenty, old characters, and fellow esteemed SNL vets including Rachel Dratch, Tracy Morgan, Horatio Sanz, Chris Kattan and special guest Jude Law might have had something to do with the night’s success.

One highlight was the Weekend Update Joke-Off: deskmates Tina Fey & Jimmy vs. Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers, reminding us of all the chemistry and splendor this segment used to possess. Too bad all we have now is Vanessa Bayer’s shark teeth. Another highlight was a mirror, mirror scene fabulously mimicking the classic with Mick Jagger. And lastly was a parody of the broadway production War Horse, where Jimmy played the role of the horse. With great hosts one right after another, as with Katy Perry’s dedication last week, we appreciate our gift, Lorne. Merry Christmas indeed.

Mimi

Holidays & Hospitals – CW Style

This week on the CW, it was the mid-season wrap-ups for everyone’s favorite shows and the dramatic cliffhangers were surprisingly similar.

 On GOSSIP GIRL, Charlie Rhodes/Ivy Dickens is supposed to fear her less-than-intimidating ex Max, as he teams up with Nate’s scorned cousin/public figure, Tripp. For the time being Serena is pining after Dan Humphrey yet again; a character pairing you know as well as I that we’ve thoroughly exhausted. 

The episode came to a close when Blair chose Chuck over Louis and the two escaped together, but were chased by vicious paparazzi who ran them off the road – in laughable scooters, no less. Reminiscent of the time Serena was in a car accident, hmm? If GG is determined to hire new writers, they should at least be given a run-down of previous episodes.

In conclusion, we’re supposed to believe that Chuck Bass dies.

Over on 90210, the girl from the sorority who hated Naomi hates her again and no one can really blame her, Dixon and Adrianna have a simple little relationship and all their worries were quickly sung away, and Navid choked up around the wrong thugs. Then Annie and Liam “kinda hooked up”, Navid was in the hospital next to B. Waldorf’s room and Silver jumped to her own conclusions, therefore taking on her lover’s child.

Meanwhile, Naomi’s boyfriend cheated with her nemesis and Liam was madly searching for Annie, hoping she wasn’t selling her body to her old man friend, when he got hit on his motorcycle by a girl with a striking resemblence to Arielle Kebbel. 

So watch out for frequent hit-and-runs this holiday season, kids. I’m sure there’s a PSA in this somewhere. 

Mimi