On The Amazing Race (16), we were rewarded with Caite and Jordan teaming up for the Intersection challenge. To the sound of Jordan’s partner, Jeff, somehow encouraging them by cheering, “Smash it!” they were off. You see, Jordan let Caite, “lead the way.” And with the first train that Caite saw, her eyes lighting up, she said, “Let’s get on.” Easy enough! This race was so simple! And they were looking so smart! Yes, it was the wrong train.
Later, when these two stunningly brilliant teammates had to go their seperate ways, Jordan and Jeff picked the plagued taxi driver of their current leg.
“We are in the middle of nowhere.” Jeff noticed, once they had past an Albertanian sitting at a bus stop. Sorry. I saw that oppurtunity and I seized it. (Hanson’s first album is titled Middle of Nowhere.)
Meanwhile, Dan and Jordan were having different issues of their own. “Let’s stop wasting balls and time!” Dan/Jordan told brother Jordan/Dan. I honestly have no idea how to tell them apart.
But are we really done with accidentally funny quotes from Big Brother team Jordan and Jeff, you ask? Of course not.
“When we saw that we had to drink the beer I knew that we would be so good because he likes to drink beer.” Jordan says earnestly. Yes. Many oafy guys like yours like to drink beer.
I have to admit that Jeff really is up there in intelligence with Jordan and Caite. Caite’s partner, Brent (Brett?) is just spacey and lame but Jeff’s redeeming quality is saying things that don’t fit into the context like, “Smash it.” He hit his head at some point. And then another point.
Any impressive race tactics at this point, Caite?
“Oh, I see it. It’s right in front of us.” Never mind.
To every viewer’s luck it was a non-elimination round and those beautifully impressive Jordan and Jeff will be with us another week. We will cherish it.
On the 2010 return of Gossip Girl, right off the Upper East Side bat, we learned that Serena is apparently conveniently besties with Jenny’s drug dealer boy and Chuck is trying to solve a deep, meaningful yet soon-to-be-resolved family mystery.
We’re expected to suddenly forget that it is March, not the first week of January, with this way-previously-filmed episode they’ve proudly handed to us. Hearing about Christmas presents is a little off in the Spring.
Dan Humphrey’s lines seemed forced without Vanessa in the episode at all. He often mistakes Nate for Vanessa. When Nate walks into a room, Dan says, “Oh! I thought you were Vanessa.” How, exactly? It was just a weird segue for him to bond with Nate over the subject of Nate’s ex…which dribbles into the subject of Dan’s ex. Very normal.
Still, as always, the show provides us with the quick, snarky lines we remember it for, like Serena telling Blair, “Anyone who meets you can see you’re an elitest snob perfect for running a secret society.”
Or, “Why aren’t you dressed?” Blair asks a suit-clad Chuck. How much more “dressed” does she expect him to be? Wearing a silk robe and a crown?
My favorite line was the ironic, “The masquerade ball was two years ago.” Exactly. Thank you. And where have you gotten since then, Nate-and-Serena? Or the whole plotline of this show, for that matter?
Sure, next week the sordid tales of Chuck Bass’ life will continue to unravel but remember that all-important masquerade ball was two years ago, everybody. All good things have an expiration date.
ABC Family’s Greek actually aired the best music this week. Yes, Greek.
Song: Keep it Cool by US Royalty
How did they get their hands on it? I have no idea.
Mimi
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