I Hate Asking You To Lie Like This…But

The return of Pretty Little Liars stirred up that Nancy Drew crime-solving fire in each of us that so long ago tired of the Mary Alice Young mystery. It wasn’t the most cutting edge, though ABC Family would like to believe so, but it was satisfying enough.

The second you are transported to the seemingly-quaint surroundings of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, you realize that this is a town unlike any other. Students engaging in sexual acts with faculty, incest, a looming murder of a middle schooler, and full-on family interventions? Normalcy, hardly.

Nerdy Lucas was overly nice, Mona lost her only saving grace of being Hanna’s defensive little dog, sneaky Noel Kahn was back at Rosewood Day, and now there’s a Jason Thing. The girls immediately started off on the wrong foot with their shrink, who decided to split them up. And forbid them from seeing each other. Yeah, let’s see that one pan out.

My favorite character, dark and moody Caleb, was shooed by Hanna in a short, vacuous scene and just lent more time to discussing Ian’s whereabouts. Dead? Alive? A? This show is providing itself with the uphill battle of not turning every twist and turn into previous plotlines. Toby, Alison, Jenna…

It’s strange the things that continue to fly under the radar in this show:

1. There shouldn’t be any leading designer stores in a town resembling Stars Hollow. 

2. The girls’ parents are only around conveniently (hello – Spencer’s dad?) so it seems each sixteen-year-old girl owns her own 4 bedroom single family home.

3. The little one dresses like a prostitute. Is her wardrobe supposed to be described as trendy? Are booty shorts and thigh high boots trendy?

PLL‘s main downfall is that remarkable music is rarely offered, and on this premiere, they only presented a weak Christina Perri song for a weak assortment of scenes.

Mimi