YES, Brought To You By The Upper Crust

On the season premiere summer-to-fall transition episode of Gossip Girl, the word yes is as overworked as a runway show and 60% of the Upper East Side has moved to California. In the strangest twist, everyone’s new love interests have accents. Are we supposed to believe that Los Angeles and England are the same place or is one of the casting directors geographically challenged?

Blair wore some curtains and sent out wedding invitations for her syrupy new romance. Dopey Deroda took the fall for the pregnancy test and the teeming news will surely shriek like a tea kettle when she starts showing. Then again, this just might be the death of this show – Blair Spawn. We liked seeing Blair Waldorf torture girls in high school who were forced to sit lower on the steps. We don’t want to see her mommy and marry Prince Charming. Not when her alternatives are Chuck and Dan.

This episode featured the synth/techno explosion (and Electric Feel’s half-sibling) Houdini by Foster The People. Possibly three months too late, possibly right on time.

So, Dan Humphrey is silently pining for Blair’s love and attention and, oh yeah, the resurfacing of a couple con artists we don’t care about. Hmm. Sounds like Juliet all over again. Just other side plots to be brushed under the rug because Serena is wearing a giant necklace at the time.

But the one thing we have missed the most are of course Chuck Bass’ snippy one liners. Lecherous, cringe-worthy, but so fitting, here are a couple of the best:

(Regarding one of his sexual escapades) “If you hear anything crazy, it means I’m doing something right.”

“People like me don’t write books. We’re written about.”

And isn’t that the truth!

Mimi

Most Searched Topics

I’m dedicating this post to addressing tags with by far the most hits and possibly clearing up some miscommunication along the way. Beginning with the most searched line from Gossip Girl in the show’s 4-year run:

“Only a Masochist Could Ever Love Such a Narcissist”

First of all, I’ve gathered that many of the show’s viewers are baffled by these big words so I’ll provide definitions. Masochist: someone who enjoys pain or hurting oneself. Narcissist: someone who is self-absorbed or fascinated by/in love with oneself. So, when Blair says, “Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist,” she is referring to herself as relishing in pain and Chuck as being self-obsessed. Yes. It was once a clever line until you searched the absolute $hit out of it.

“Houdini Electric Feel”

This search is pointing out the similarities between MGMT‘s song Electric Feel and Foster The People‘s Houdini. No, Houdini is not actually a remake, rip-off, or addition to the song Electric Feel. This might come up on a higher media level soon though, as the band is set to release Houdini as one of the next singles off their debut Torches.

The next search, simply “Hanna’s hair” is regarding Pretty Little Liars‘ star Ashley Benson’s hair on the show. And her decision to trim it. Honestly, children, don’t we have better thngs to do than use our new iPod Touches to harrass Google all day with useless information about half-stars?

 “One Tree Hill Mimi”

Now, this search has popped up time and again over the years and, yes, a whole bunch of these are rapid-fire caveman fragments. I have watched almost every season of One Tree Hill, the nighttime soap that just won’t die, and never have I come across a Mimi on the show. If it’s slipping my mind, by all means leave a comment but this may be yet another search engine mystery.

Mimi