I’ve Never Had…a Bed.

On the Tool Academy Class Reunion, everyone showed up to re-hash the season and, in some cases, still agree with their past behavior. Like Tommy, Stupid Tool, when asked what he thought of his childish chair-throwing tantrum said “I can pick up a sofa and everyone knows that now.”

By the end of the show, Shawn (Loud Mouth Tool) actually had three girlfriends, including gas-station-girl, who was his near-stranger baby mama. When Shawn was asked “Are you still a tool?” he glanced back and forth between his women and said, “I mean, yeah.”

As for Matsu, he was pronounced incurable as he tried, once again, to explain the Matsuflex Revolution.

The highlight of the reunion was getting to watch Krista leave Tommy and Tommy throw furniture again. Yes, Jenna, they even admitted they’re white trash. Oh, and Krista loooooves attention.

Cameron has more self-respect than the others and M.E.G.A. still has way more class than any of the others. (Margo didn’t show. She made up a family emergency and ignored a concerned M.E.G.A. for two weeks. Why was he ever with her??)

For some reason, at the end, Josh and Ashley were surprised by their promised prize money like it hadn’t been mentioned over and over again throughout the entire show.

Rob and Karine were absent… And Celebrity is still hungry.

On the Amazing Race 14, Luke had a brand-new experience on a sleeper train “I’ve never had an experience like this before…(sleeping on  a train)…having a bed.” Wow. After all the places they’ve travelled so far on the race, the one thing Luke wanted the most -besides being deceitful to win- was a bed?

Victor said “It’ll be a mad dash off this train.” And by “mad dash” he means he’s going to push everyone out of his way again.

Mimi

I Sell More Cookies Than Your Mom!

This week on Tool Academy, the Tools learned how to humiliate themselves. Tommy, Slacker Tool Stupid Tool, didn’t think the Humility therapy session was very funny. The other tools were, like, crying and stuff. So when it was his turn he made up something on the spot along the same lines as they did. His girlfriend, Krista (of the open-mouthed scowl) said “He’s finally, like, thinking about things. And that’s awesome for him.”

Josh, Tiny Tool, after confessing to calling his girlfriend fat, gave her his bowling trophy. ?????

Celebrity decides he likes being Party Tool and he doesn’t want to change. He openly disses the show to the fancy brit.

M.E.G.A.’s view: “Celebrity’s playing the ping-pong game. He denounces Celebrity, then he’s s’posed to be Clarence and he goes back to being Celebrity! The point of Academy is to change, dawg!”

Next, the tools have to dress up stupid and sell cookies.

Stupid Tool’s tactic: “Would you like to buy a cookie? It’s for my girlfriend.” His response: “I’m full.” Celebrity is, too!

Power Tool’s tactic: letting people punch and kick him for $1. This goes over pretty well.

Loud Mouth Tool’s tactic: find the tour buses and offer to pose for pictures with people (in exchange for money and the trade of a cookie.)

Who won? Loud Mouth Tool! Yay for weird tourists!

What do you have to say for yourself, Loud Mouth? “I sell more cookies than your mom!” Um, good. You’re not supposed to sell people’s moms. Especially not M.E.G.A.’s mom. MEGA takes this too personally and retaliates by talking bad about Shawn’s girl.

Celebrity asks the question on everyone else’s mind: “Jaimee or Aida?!”

So…Loud Mouth wins the “fairy-tale” date and snuggles up to Aida, who tells him “I don’t remember any sex scenes in Cinderella.” in her trashy-Euro-Czech-LA(?) voice.

Celebrity is kicked out of the Tool Academy for going back to his old ways (see MEGA’s view) and his girlfriend, Cameron, tells him to shut up before he pleas his case and tells him she’s leaving without him. He nods, thankful that at least she’s not laying into him like she did to that punching bag.

Margo, MEGA’s woman, was right when she said that Celebrity was 100% Baffoonery…Whatever that means.

In X Games News…

Gretchen Bleiler died a little, Levi Lavallee (on Mimi’s blog it’s pronounced La-valley) didn’t stand up to Travis’ name, the man-faced club of female snowboarders ran to aide their President Man-Face after she ruined her run with a faceplant, and some guys with no legs were totally awesome!!!

Mimi