Naomi’s $#!t and Nany’s Hookups They Should’ve Shown

Real World’s $hit They Should Have Shown is a collection of funny moments and things the viewing audience never needed to have seen [i.e, the exact bowel movements of roommate Naomi]. Maybe Nany was also clutching onto her last bit of pride and had exhaled a sigh of relief once the season was over. Oh, no, no, no. Apparently, besides being weasel-faced Adam’s plaything, she also hooked up with every girl in the house.

Nevertheless, there were definitely a few scenes they should have shown. Like when Cookie beat up Dustin for the second time over her stuffed bunny, in a shuffle that pushed him in and out of the closet. Hmm. Or when Mike dressed up as Leroy for Halloween, but was mistaken by everyone in Vegas as a racist. And the raw chicken. That was an unnecessary but wholly entertaining moment. Guess you are doing the dishes, Mike!

 

In the meantime we’ll have Challenge: Rivals to watch, where I’m assuming Lee does not kill Adam, considering he was present for all the follow-up Real World shows, but we can only hope. Additionally, Mike sure is campaigning for his own show with Lee on MTV so we’ll see how that turns out. Can’t be any worse than the Skins disaster.

 

Mimi

Goodbye, Las Vegas

A wedding, a death, and a so-so guitar. Who would think this would be the perfect recipe for the Real World Las Vegas finale? After months of despising certain roommates for being self-destructive, manipulative, or downright scumbags, the finale (involving no arguing whatsoever) made us actually like the cast in their last hour of fame.

Leroy experienced loss of a close friend and his “BFF” Mike walked him around and consoled him before he flew back home, only to return to Vegas for a day, to handle his business. We actually got to see the human side of the biggest player in the house, something we never would have seen out of weaselly Adam.

Meanwhile, Heather and Dustin markered on a guitar to be raffled off for charity and Dustin called it their baby. Yeah. What a winner. But wait! Mouse-faced Dustin is also very easily confused. He sauntered into their bathroom and Cooke and Naomi were painting each other. Cooke and Naomi are blue, Dustin says like a robot. Yes, Dustin, they’re blue. Cooke and Naomi are blue. Cooke and Naomi are blue. He was told that if he said things three times, a sexy wizard would give him some fabulous red slippers.

The whole time, Naomi was trying to convince Mike to marry her while they were still in Vegas. Yes, of all people, Mike would be the least likely to go along with something like this, including all the other girls. He fought her on it, and told her he liked Nany’s nice, straight hair, both of which made her whine. Finally, finally, *finally* after many days of pleading, Mike proposed to Naomi with a Ring Pop. And they did get [fake] married.

Mike also progressed in other ways during his stay in Vegas. Besides befriending the intimidating guy in the house, and no longer reading his prayer to his dates, by the end, he was ready to get a tattoo, go to a strip club with his nemesis, Dustin, and get fake married. What more could you ask for!

Then the roommates were deeply depressed to be leaving and the moustistic guy decided to drag all their mattresses on top of the bowling lanes for a slumber party. Cookie whimpered that she didn’t want to go because she was just becoming friends with everyone. And everyone ignored her sadness. Well how bad had it really been between them?

 

Nany announced as they were leaving, and Moustin was admiring his and Heather’s “child”, that they would all return to Vegas a week later. All the roommates went bankrupt 1 week and 1 day later.

Mimi

That’s The Way Cookie Crumbles

On Real World Las Vegas (Wind in the Willows Season), weaselly Adam was kicked out of the Hard Rock and off the show after throwing a few drunken tantrums and successfully making empty-headed Nany fall for him. They announced how sad they were that their fellow critter had to leave, as if he didn’t bring it on himself. Well, except Leroy. Leroy wasn’t sad.

Nevertheless, Adam was replaced by a tomboy named Cookie. From the first second she walked through the door, she had her sights set on Heather’s man, mouseman Dustin. She casually told a few of the roommates at dinner that she wanted to break the couple up.

Then she flirted with Mighty Mouse by playing tug of war with some coats and Michael reminded Dustin how little he thought of him. This made Dustin pout and hide in his bed, giving Cookie the oppurtunity to coax him out. He ignored her.

 Then she stirred up more trouble by befriending Leroy because Naomi was Leroy’s sex partner roommate and this of course meant that Cookie wanted to take her place.

Finally, when Cookie was out at a club with the rest of the roommates she waved an open hand in the air, which was apparently her pointing at Heather. So Naomi and Nany got up in her face and yelled at her until she cried. She left the club and went to bed. They followed her, woke her up, screamed in her face, and accused her of talking bad about Heather.

Heather was mature, dropped it first and played nice with the new girl even though she was still clearly trying to pursue the Rat King. But I’m sure we’ll see more of that next week.

Mimi