It’s Unclear if the Journey is from the Past or in the Future

Things we like about Pretty Little Liars:

• Toby Cavanaugh listens to The Smiths
• Secretaries at a doctor’s office answer the phone saying, “Doctor’s office.”
• Hanna does something impossible and not clever with a door, “rigging it” so she could get inside the room later
• ABC Family seems to only splurge on Aria’s outfits and makeup 
• Extras only pass by once dialogue between main characters, such as Emily and Toby, has ended
• The four main girls are circulating about Homecoming the whole night, spilling into each other’s scenes, disrupting the usual routine
• Rosewood’s raffle at Homecoming wasn’t on the scale of a gift card to TGI Friday’s, but a car
• This is just another ABC Family show that thinks it’s a good idea to feature the worst live bands on TV during their show *cough cough Greek and Plain White T’s*
• Toby was abandoned awkwardly doing nothing time after time, then finally looks across the room to his sister sitting alone among a mass of dancing student body. Just so she could draw pointed attention being there. (Spoiler alert but over 2,400 pages of a storyline and only 6 hours of a show and we’re not about to solve the mystery of A in Jenna)
• Melissa Hastings showing up at the high school Homecoming dance was a dumb writing mistake, now pushing her character over the steep edge of desperation. Evil witch done-up hair was a nice twist, though.
• The girls didn’t notice Jenna in the same room as them. While they were having a secret conversation. About Jenna and Toby. Hmm. She hides pretty well for a blind girl.
• Yes, they did change Jenna’s last name only weeks into the series. A bit scatterbrained, aren’t we, writers who aren’t Sara Shepard?
• ABC Family says, “No, Toby screwing his sister is not acceptable! Stepsister? Well…That can’t be worse than what’s on Secret Life of the American Teenager. Okay.”
• There is a sign of all the current living townspeople of Rosewood. How convenient. Those painters will be exhausted soon!

Mimi

Why Can’t She Graduate?!

“It’s a rabbit, Hanna. It’s not gonna answer you.”

In the funniest twist since, well, Nanny Carrie, Pretty Little Liars inherited OTH‘s crazy chick who pretended to be a dead person just this past season! How can you summon such casting brilliance? From one evil to another!

The characters expanded to Toby Cavanaugh, who is not, in fact, a rabbit, and Noel Kahn, Rosewood Day’s main party boy. Emily’s boyfriend, Ben, is by far the worst actor on the show. Because of this, Toby beat him up in the girls’ locker room. Normal Rosewood. 

Meanwhile, Spencer made a Hurt Locker reference and then Wren said, “bloody.” Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we? And Melissa thought she was pathetic.

ABC Family did not splurge for a fat suit so they padded Hanna‘s clothes for her flashback…and it looked like just that. Lashing out from being rejected, now-thin Hanna took her boyfriend’s keys and crashed his car. Still – normal Rosewood. And she simply went about her business the next day! Poor editing in the switch from daily occurences to suspenseful moments.

Maya asked Emily if she was going to spend the rest of the school year hiding under her bed. Wait. If sleeping in the middle was code for being bisexual…Wouldn’t hiding under the bed be code for asexual? Or was she simply confusing the bed with the closet? Scenes like the photo booth were straight out of the book, just awkwardly introduced.

Then again, so was Aria, who apparently learned how to cry on command while away at acting camp. She’s come a long way from Effie Kaligaris‘ wimperings.

Mimi

Try to Remember Alison as the Beautiful Girl You Knew

On Pretty Little Liars,

“I kind of sleep in the middle,” was clever code for, “Hello, I’m bisexual.” Also, Hanna’s mother told her to, “remember Alison as the beautiful girl you knew,” which is a line dripping with irony since the more flashbacks they will reveal, the more it will show how devilish Ali Di Laurentis really was.

The main characters were seemingly the only townspeople of depressed, haunted Rosewood, Pennsylvania. In the first scene, the four girls were gossiping at the local diner and, when Jenna Cavanaugh entered and took a seat at the bar, they all got up and left, heading separate directions. Awesome how they coordinated that without saying a word. 

Yet, later, in the school cafeteria, Aria invited Jenna to sit at their table and oddly enough, all the girls were okay with it. And eager to discuss how they were responsible for her handicap. That must have been on account of the divorced friends being the only ones there. Oh, wait. Mona conveniently wasn’t at Hanna’s hip and neither she nor Emily wanted to sit with their replaceable boyfriends. Poor writing, people!

Then, when Aria and her mother went to see a movie, just down the street from the diner, who would be there but Mr. Fitz! Two episodes in and Rosewood is already getting a little Stars Hollow on us.

Still, Aria Montgomery and Mr. Fitz continue to be the best love affair on the show, even overly dramatic and overly complicated as it may be. I couldn’t care less about Hanna’s stealing and purging or Aria’s dad’s affair or Melissa Hastings’ fiancee getting the boot.

Lucy Hale, the actress who left much to be desired from her performance in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and was partly responsible for killing Priviliged, actually lights up the screen on Pretty Little Liars. She either attended acting camp or came into her own with this show, but either way I am pleased to say that she is a saving grace. And I was beginning to think her favorite hobby was book burning.

Mimi