You Better Run, Better Run Faster Than Blair Waldorf

Gossip Girl kicked off this week with its second Foster The People song to lead us into the show. Yes, with Pumped Up Kicks it is officially old news. So much for staying on the cutting edge, GG.

Charlie/Ivy is a main player again, with Serena blindly trying to rent a house for the pair as Ivy scrambles to escape her lies. No such luck and Ivy parts ways with her actual boyfriend to stay with her make-believe cousin and socialite Serena van der Woodsen. And the duo end up heading back to the Upper East Side. Just as well. Blair will need someone to hold her hair.

Yes. Miss Princess-to-be Blair Cordelia Waldorf is officially with child and she brings up her one-night-stand with Chuck so often that it is inevitably his baby and they’ll call off the wedding. If Blair does not miscarry and end up with Chuck this could very easily kill off the show for good. But wouldn’t it be lovely if it could be Humphrey’s? Or they could play pretend. After all, it wouldn’t be the first baby he’s raised that wasn’t his.

Speaking of Dan Humphrey, early in the episode a v-necked Dan found Chuck Bass in a heated v-neck alley rough-up by following the oddly precise Gossip Girl tracker. We imagined there were punches thrown and blood shed. And it was a brutal imaginary sight indeed. Then Dan and Nate played Chuck’s parents and it was weird. Even weirder than Nate’s dating pattern – affairs with older women.

So what will be in store for Serena as she returns to the big apple? Will Louis break things off with Blair and fall for her instead? Will she also be related to Nate’s new, British fling? Will Charlie wear more atrocious, pinched cameltoe-inducing leggings? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Mimi