It’s My Driver

The Hills Finale began with the four “main characters” having a conversation about possibly finally becoming adults and about, well, the end. This was obviously taped after the final episode had a theme and after they had tittered about their drama and questioned things enough to be certain during said talk. And from there to the end things were all about Kristin.

Brody, Taylor, and Frankie; tha boys; went golfing. My, weren’t we aging fast now!

Kristin decided that if she were to move anywhere,  it would absolutely have to be to any/all of Europe. She told Brody. Someone on the Hills crew called a jangly phone inside Brody’s house so it would create drama. Then she didn’t make eye contact while she backwards-invited him to her going-away party.

Then Audrina was giving Stephanie a tour of her second house -?- where Stephanie, who just committed to a relationship about ten minutes ago, catcalled at a, “cutie.” He hollered, “Tower 24,” And Stephanie smoothly told Audrina, “That’s our new hangout…That’s… That is your new hangout.” 

Stacie The Skanky Bartender Chick Who Originally Got On The Show As Some Homewrecking Whore Flirting With Spencer Pratt replaced Audrina in the group hug at Kristin’s going-away party; in the shot only to be a brunette head.

Then Lo and Stephanie played the arguing voices in Kristin’s head, on the topic of, none other but, Kristin. She sided with the Stephanie voice and decided to talk to Brody. He cried and said, “Don’t leave.”

Gifts showered upon us for our listening pleasure. Forever Young! If We Ever Meet Again!! Girlfriend!!! Finally, Hills finale! It’s about time you featured decent music! Boy, did you have a lot to make up for this season.

And to the sound of a rerecorded version of Unwritten, The Hills rolled out unquestionably the most creative ending they have ever had.

Mimi