Dude, That Was My Apple

Tool Academy, week 4-

What does Maturity mean to the tools?

Shawn, Loud Mouth Tool says, “Well, I run around farting a lot. And I laugh at it…So I guess that’s immature.”

Josh, Tiny Tool says (and I quote), “I define maturity as…I can’t marry a bowling ball but I can marry my fiancee.”

Krista was trying to get Tommy, Stupid Tool, to settle on a career. He wavered between working on SportsCenter, being a marine biologist, and working on SportsCenter. He told Krista “I don’t have to be a brain scientist.”

During the interview before the “caveman” competition, Josh showed that he doesn’t know cavemen/Tarzan(?) don’t exist in the modern world and that they say “oog”, pound their chests, and hold clubs. He didn’t understand the teamwork aspect at all. This is the same guy who wanted a door off a car as his five-year plan.

Matsuflex expressed his love for filling buckets…Or maybe it was something else… “Matsuflex is thirsty and when Matsuflex is thirsty he’s gonna fill up his bucket!” Celebrity, too!!!

Shawn showed off his “Kung Fu Hero” tattoo; flashing everyone, and thought it was really cool.

So…Stupid Tool, Naked Tool, and Loud Mouth Tool decide Margo and M.E.G.A. are faking their relationship for the prize money and M.E.G.A. goes to the loud metal room to confront them about it.

Hey can somebody turn off those 20+ dishwashers? I don’t think they can hear me over all the noise. Thanks.

Matsu was drunk by this point and thought he was tough so he threw an apple (Tommy’s apple, dude. Sorry, dude.), a can of beer, either a smoothie or a cream-filled doughnut (someone was having fun with the sound effects) and screamed “Aaaaaaaahh!” a lot. Boo. Scary.

The tools went to Glee Club. Power Tool said “I don’t wear baby blue.” and Loud Mouth thought he was the best at singing Four Score and Three Tools Ago.

M.E.G.A. was eliminated because of Margo. Why, you ask?

On their picnic, after winning the Caveman comp., he told Margo that he loved her and was happy she was in his life, etc.; very personal, open things. She laughed at him every time. Now, of all the tools, MEGA was the least toolish, the most mature, and he’sthe one stuck with the manipulative girlfriend? Basically, he stood up for Margo and cared about her 1,000 times more than she cared about him. I personally hope MEGA sees the light and finds someone with a little more compassion. I guess that’s it for the “MEGA’s view” section…

Once MEGA and Margo got in the limo to go home, Jenna said “Maybe Margo should’ve been with the tools and MEGA should have been with us girls.” If only they weren’t paying all their attention to Stupid Tool’s mad basketball skillz and Loud Mouth’s Kung Fu Hero.

Mimi