The Official 2008 Wrap-up

I guess in a way this is the little blog that could…I’ve had an insane amount of views in 10 mos., lots of comments and nice words and I just wanted to thank everyone who was interested enough to check out southiejustinjustinsouth. Happy Holidays! Don’t get too drunk. Well, at least not as drunk as Heidi. Pratt.

Thanks for an awesome year.

Mimi

Oh, Look, Heidi and Spencer Aren’t Married Again

The Hills Season Finale:

We waited all these frickin’ seasons for a lame, half-hearted, awkward, civil Lauren/Heidi reconciliation? No! So did they make up? Are they gonna be friends again? Um, I don’t think so. Did they claw each other’s eyes out? No, they hugged in silence a lot. Did they to hint to re-BFF-ing soon? Heidi did, Lauren said “it’s not fair” meaning “deal with it, implants.” Wow. Thanks, guys. And I thought you liked making your show juicy-?

Heidi and Spencer almost legalized their marriage (where Spencer had no middle name – Fake! Liar! Imposter!) but Spencer’s conscience actually kicked in and he let Heidi back out and drag it out for a few more years. Yes, that’s being a good guy in Speidi-language. At least we can still consider them married whenever they vacation in Mexico.

On to Audrina and her dream-stoner, Justin Bobby; scenes I’ll Close the Door and This is Like an Outside Dark-Night Picnic Situation We Got Here:

Justin drove Audrina to some undisclosed getaway (meaning the producer’s summer home), not embarrassed in the least that he looked like a tiny toddler on a big-person bike, sparkly helmet and all. He gave her a ring that he seemed to like wearing more to the point she’d have to ask to have it back.

Their -totally riveting- conversations went something like this…

JB: You’re a rare breed.

Audrina: You’re a rare breed.

JB: I have you all to myself.

Audrina: And I have you all to myself.

JB:You’ll be sorry.

Audrina: No, you’ll be sorry. *Audrina thinks to self “I wish I had an original thought!”*

Let me Introduce

Momma’s Boys

This is a show about 3 guys looking for love and their Mommas joining them in the decision and finding them the perfect girl. Huh. That really didn’t take as much explaining as NBC thinks.

The way to send girls home or let them stay is sent by text and if they’re undecided the girls get a message that says “meet at the pool” Oh… Confusing. I know this show’s purpose is hard to grasp but hang in there – Mommas are helping their sons pick girlfriends. Got it? That’s alright. I’ll tell you again in a little bit.

So Megan Albertus (the girl that said Ooh! You’re warm! Yep, her.) was one of the girls texted to “meet at the pool” (texting is this nifty thing cellular phones do, by the way) and Jojo Bojanowski asked her to stay so he could get to know her better. The other girls cheered. She shook, cried, and stood in front of them quivering. She finally said she wanted to give girl#2 a chance to get to know them and would like to bow out of the competition but that it was very nice, she appreciated it. Jojo hugged her and told her he wanted her to stay. She blubbered and squeaked and turned him down again. Girl#2; who would already be headed home right now, is standing behind shaky Megan uncomfortably. Megan makes some lame speech about them being nice but still wanting to leave and courageously exits stage left. Girl#2 asks “Am I welcome here or do you still want me to leave?” They all shrug and walk off.

??? Exactly! That is how this show works. Sure, it’s about Mommas helping their sons find love, since obviously their Mommas can pick better women for them, but the show is completely disorganized and lacking rules nonetheless.

Mimi

Areeba!

I’ve decided that the only thing more amusing than the Target-Lady or Craig’s pocket-monkeys is Heidi’s random fake-Mexican purring accent.

Spencer (and an infinite amount of tequila) “wooed” Heidi so he got what he wanted (attention?) and her true feelings for her new husband came flying out in the most natural way – vomiting.

In Other Non-Heidi/Spencer Hills-Related News…

Whitney has haggy parents, Lo’s so whispery she needs a translator, it’s perfectly fine to talk about Justin Bobby two feet away from him, and Lauren gets jealous inside when Brody cuddles with other -and all- girls.

Mimi

Hanson Babies!

Taylor and Natalie Hanson welcomed their 4th child Tuesday, December 9th; a boy named Viggo Moriah, joining siblings Jordan Ezra (6), Penelope Anne (3), and River Samuel Hanson (2) and cousins Clark Everett (1), James Monroe (5 mos.), and John Ira Shepard Hanson (6 mos.). Yes, it is a mouthful.

The family is happy, healthy and gorgeous (and rescheduling the walk planned for NYC on World AIDS day; December 1, for sometime in the new year).

Mimi

Only a Masochist Could Ever Love Such a Narcissist

Omigod!! It’s Gossip Girl!!!!!!

This episode of Gossip Girl definitely made my Top 5 Best Episodes  Ever so I’ll set the scene: Bart Bass dies. Dan and Aaron fight for Serena’s attention and Dan wins. Nate and Blair limp a very intoxicated Chuck to the funeral who demands that Dan leave. He looks like he’s missing his Twilight 2 cast tryout. Blair asks him, and I quote “Chuck, am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? Nate’ll hold back your hair.” Neither does so. Blair’s mom and Tiny decide they’re getting married either that day or the next – this part is unclear. Aaron tells Serena he wants to take her to Buenos Aires; hello, left field! She only says yes after letting her mom win one round of tug-a-war with the Humphrey men. Blair said the three words she so feared and Chuck didn’t care.

The episode ended with Dan losing in every way and Chuck doing the right thing for a change before he had to go and be dramatic and faux-suicidal just b’cause he wants to hear Blair say it again. We were given the parting line of “Just tell me one thing: is it a boy or a girl?” Guess L and R won’t be getting cozy so soon after all. Merry Christmas, Gossip Girl viewers!

Privileged: The Verdict (finally)

OK, this is somewhat delayed since the pilot of the show but whatever. If you’ve never heard of it before or were interested and hadn’t seen it yet here’s my view. Privileged is a cute but simple show that wouldn’t cause problems if you left the 10-year-old in the room while it was on. Every episode has the same scenario; Megan has family and boy troubles and says quirky-verging-on-lame things, the twins have problems balancing school and fun and everyone goes to the flamboyant personal chef Marco for advice. One main downfall to the show is Laurel, the twins’ grandmother and Megan’s employer, the main reason being that she’s old and doesn’t belong on a CW drama. No one interested in Megan, Sage, Rose, Charlie, Will, Mandy, and Lily would be interested in the 60-something’s love life. Besides the confused pegged viewer and everything-being-resolved-in-one-episode’s-time the show has glamorous views of Palm Beach, FL, and has a different premise then other shows out there.

Do I ultimately think it will last? No.

Mimi

Welcome to “First He Was a Hamster, Now He’s a Guinea Pig!”

Monday in a Flash: A pair of exes got lucky and C and B found their twins on Gossip Girl, some old folks grossed me out and maybe I fell asleep during Privileged, LC and Audrina fake-made-up but nobody cared about that argument anyway (she realized that after about 5,000 “no”s from both ends they had to have been telling the truth since her brain froze), and the devil pretended to care about his Nana, on The Hills.

In Other Stupid Hills-spinoff News:

Bromance?! So Brody’s getting his own show, too? I didn’t think he rolled like that but, um, okay. The next installments will be The True Pick-Up Stoner, featuring your one-and-only yoga-performing space-cowboy Justin Bobby, Let’s Watch Frankie Pick Lint Off His Dog, and First He Was a Hamster, Now He’s a Guinea Pig, which is something like Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Too bad even the dumbest fetuses are smarter than Simpleton Pratt.

Mimi