This week was a doozy:
Spencer was trying to explain in baby-speak to his sister, Stephanie, why he was angry LC was at her birthday. (Why does everyone on this show refer to a birthday party as birthday, period?) He started by saying he wanted to be her un-brother, then said she “jumped ship” -I think a certain someone likes bathtime- and ended his tyrant with some nearly-but-not-quite-cultural garbage about he and LC being like Iran and Israel and that’s why they couldn’t get along.
See, I’m like an apple…but Lauren is an orange…Lauren…orange…that’s exactly why you can’t be the pacemaker, dudette.
Peacemaker.
Whatever. Wait a second…Am I wearing…purple? Aw, man.
Audrina decided to play the sweet card, trading the Queen Catty card with Lo this episode. They both attended Stephanie’s “birthday” where Lo evilly eyed Audrina and, abso-fakely as she could muster said “I’m glad we talked.” Yup, Audrina, we’re as confused as you are. Just not as obnoxious as your co-worker at Epic Records who doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned.
On the way to the “birthday” Lo outright told Lauren everyone was getting along who mattered. Lauren looked at her like “Wow. You’re so evil.” but then Lo pretended to be paying attention while driving. Yeah, right. None of us are believing that.
Basically Lauren was awkward, Doug was dull, Brody was cordial, Spencer tested out some big words, Heidi has actually turned into a mannequin, Whitney was even duller than Doug, Frankie assumed his usual spot as guy #3, and Stephanie hired some stand-ins who were already on-set to be her “friends.”
My favorite part was when Spencey remembered Heidi’s food-ordering history – an unspecific “chicken taco.” No, no. She throws that up. Oh, and she hasn’t blinked or moved her Jay Leno-chin in six days.
Mimi
