The events -in no particular order- of the season premiere of The Hills:
1. Heidi’s sister, Holly, came for an impromptu visit, kicked her blondness up a notch and then decided she wanted to return to their camera-riddled lifestyle for good (go figure), only flubbing her line a couple times. Good going, other Montag! Spencer…yes, that guy…was sleeping whenever he wasn’t whining, scratching the bird’s nest swallowing up his face, or playing Mario Cart and losing to himself.
2. Lauren threw Audrina a birthday party and invited her new beau of the hour; Dougy, whom she ignored, while Audrina hung out with pink mohawk-guy and the Wonderful Stoner Ex and Lo hid from everyone with her puppy.
3. Lo confronted Audrina about not making an effort. Audrina said she didn’t care. Audrina said they would never be friends. Lo walked off to go cry. And Lo is still the mean one? Mmkay.
4. Whitney- wait. Who am I kidding? Whitney is boring and did nothing, as usual.
The best advice to give Lauren would be to watch the ‘coming up on this season of The Hills’ previews! Then she would know not to trust Dougy or Stephanie Pratt (hello, Pratt!) or deal with another sister trying to force a Heidi/LC reconcilitation. After all, reconciliation = ratings drop.
Anyway, it’s a sigh of relief this fake-show is back. Now we have something to talk about again and really, what did we ever do without it?
Mimi
