I should stop…

I should stop watching dumb shows like The Hills and Here Come the Newlyweds. I should watch CNN so I can stay updated on world news, or the Early Show so I can laugh at Meredith Viera when she does stupid things. But you and I both know that I am not going to do so. I watch The Hills to stay informed on juicy made-up gossip and well… I still care a smidgen if the Moutras don’t win the nearly $500,000 (you know your show is lame when there isn’t even a set prize). I merely watch moronic television so I can then pass on the information to you, lovely reader, and you don’t have to seem like you care. I’m biting the bullet for you, really. You’re welcome.

Mimi

The Hills Review

 I watched the much-anticipated season premiere of The Hills last night and here are generalizations I’ve made.

 Heidi whines. A lot. Spencer gives her all the attention she craves and she loves it but Heidi’s 2nd love, after Heidi, and preceding stirring up trouble, is whining. She whines to Spencer, she whines at Spencer, she whines to her parents and his sister…Seeing a pattern? Nothing is ever perfect enough for her but she still wants to have Spencer around, mainly to whine. Sure, he’s dumb as post but he must just think she’s hot because that’s all there is to her. They don’t even like each other.

 Lauren was all giggly when they were headed to the Eiffel Tower and then popping the champagne totally failed; most of it dribbled out on the ground. Wow. That was exciting.

 Lauren basically said “rebound” when she was attempting French. “Real man?” Whitney guesses. No, stupid. Listen closer next time. “Rebound.” “Real m-” *slap* I wish Audrina was here.

 Some of the lines seemed very scripted. Like “it’s freezing outside” “so cold” and “hello, darling” Yuck.

 Although, the previews for the rest of the season look drama-packed. Spencer’s sister gets chummy with Lauren, hoping that everyone can be friends again? Like that’s going to happen. Then that scumbag stoner Justin clings to Audrina again? That better have been a different scumbag stoner. Why in the world would Heidi be dumb enough to think she and Audrina were friends? I know she’s dumb but she was scheming enough of the time not to be that dumb.

 The first episode was pretty lackluster, besides Lauren burning a fancy dress and easily getting another and Brody getting a girlfriend two days after Lauren left.

 I have to hand it to Joel McHale from E’s show, The Soup, for hiring a sniper to kill Spencer. That was pretty cool.

Mimi

I Have a Theory

 This is an excerpt from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith that I just wanted to share with you all. It is from one of my favorite scenes. Jane Smith is having dinner by herself, distraught after thinking she killed her husband, John, even though it was on purpose. He shows up and they bicker while dancing. Here’s a taste of a really good, if not bitter scene, courtesy of me. You’re welcome. 

 ”Why is it you think we failed? Because we were leading seperate lives or was it all the lie that did us in?” (Jane)

 ”I have a theory, newly-formed.” (John)

 ”I’m breathless to hear it.”

 ”You killed us.”

 ”Provocative.”

 ”You approached our marriage like a job – something to be reconned, planned and executed.”

 ”And you avoided it.”

 ”What do you care if I was just a cover?” (John)

 ”Who said you were just a cover?”

 ”Wasn’t I?”

 ”Wasn’t I?” <Jane backs up, looking flustered> “Excuse me, I have to-”

Blow up the entire freakin’ restuarant!! Way to go, Jane.

The sad thing is I’ve seen the movie 25+ times and I didn’t have to look up the lines. But don’t thank me. Thank whoever wrote this gem.

 Mimi

Hey All

Hey. This is Nix, the more sane one. I’m busy making sure that we can legally post some “funny” pictures that we, well, I , drew on from the band Augustana. Basically, the site we copied the original from was shut down/renamed/whatever, so we can’t attribute a site that doesn’t exist. I think we’ll be OK if we just say where we originally got the pic. BTW, they’re done with all the complexity of Microsoft Paint (Hiya, Microsft Lawyers!).

-Nix

Model-T Car Parts in the Front Yard

The weather is v. nice. May and June are better; like a fuzzy-wuzzy hug. Mowing lawns and gardening brings out the best in those Pleasantville neighbors in a creepy sort of way.

Just stick me in a model-T car with a toddler and a jar of beer and I’m happy. That’s #1. Yardwork is not #1. Also, in reference, I just want to say that I’m really looking forward to One OC Gossip Tree Creek.

Mimi

DVR is bored

 Chazz Michael Michaels was a riot, a laugh riot. Buddy the Elf was pretty funny in a juvenile way. Phil Westen was also completely different. See? Will Ferrell can be diverse but maybe he just chooses not to; maybe he likes playing the same character in all his movies. All I know is that it doesn’t make me like him any less, no matter what anyone else thinks. After all, I like whispering too.

 Has anyone wondered what happened to Punk’d? Was it just becoming too predictable and all celebrities would know what was going on? Cause, I mean, seriously, there are still plenty of newly-famous always-gullible people to punk. It was funny.  Maybe Ashton was starting to doubt his safety after punking Shaq.

 Basically, there is no good TV since the writer’s strike. I’ve watched the same episode of Gossip Girl from January three times, and if I have to watch boring Rufus and his inability to date one more time, I am going to go insane.

 The newest episode of Reaper was actually based on a Christmas theme, it was taped so long ago.

 The last thing we saw on Desperate Housewives was the wreckage of Wisteria Lane. Carlos is blind, Mike is still a druggie, hello, we care! And what about everything that happened in Chicago? *dramatic hamster stink-eye*

 How many times can shows like Amnesia still be entertaining until there is something of substance to watch? OK. Punk’d and Gossip Girl aren’t that much better but in this case there are celebrities and actors  who are more interesting and better-looking.

 Some new episodes of The Hills are due out soon and I’m looking forward to them. I mean, who doesn’t like watching cheesy Heidi and Spencer read their reality TV lines badly? Nobody, that’s who. It’s a lovely little trainwreck. Not to mention the commercials showing that Brody got a girlfriend while Lauren was in Paris – he was a lovesick puppy following her around and she was so used to taking advantage of that! This is gonna be good.

 I’ll wait but I’m not promising that I’ll wait patiently. SNL will be on tonight. Now that’s something worth watching.

Mimi

Hi Dere!

I’m Mimi. Nix might pop in occasionally but you’ll surely like me better. Justin South is the drummer from the band Augustana, Southie Justin would be Justin Moore from Ingram Hill, who you’ve probably never heard of before now. We’re hilarious. I love Hanson, Gossip Girl, Dan Layus, and Mrs. and Mrs. Smith. We quote stupid movies. If you don’t get it you don’t get it.

Leave us a note to prove you’ve been here. We’d appreciate it.

Mimi